


Male Bonding

by Over8000



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: A Saiyan's idea of being friends is torturing each other, Angsty teen Saiyans, Dragon Ball Z - Freeform, Drama, Family Bonding, Fist Fights, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Kid Vegeta - Freeform, Nappa is sick of their shit, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Raditz isn't always a pushover, Saiyans, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Vegeta being Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-07-17 06:18:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16089797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Over8000/pseuds/Over8000
Summary: Vegeta and Raditz decide to engage in a pranking contest.  It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Note: Raditz is 16 and Vegeta is 11.This is a companion story that occurs in the same universe as "You Can Break Me but Can't Take My Pride"





	1. Dish Duty

**Author's Note:**

> Credit where credit is due:  
> This story is brought to you courtesy of Jacked Doritos(™) and Under8000  
> Thanks to MegaKat for allowing me to borrow her Saiyan Language  
> And of course a big thank you to my beta reader TheAsh0
> 
> Saiyan Words used:  
> Getau - friends/allies  
> Heu - gods  
> Ji’tach - a Saiyan fighting team  
> Ma'tapa - loosely translates to ‘motherfucker’  
> Ve’ho - prince

The back room of Mess Hall Five was hot, humid, and cramped. Large stacks of dishes, brought in by a conveyor belt, had piled up during the First Shift morning meal. Serving trays, bowls, glasses, utensils, and cookware; most still filled with remnants of food or drink, teetered at eye height and had started to overflow onto the floor as well, to create a broken mess of waste and shattered glass. 

Vegeta steamed, both figuratively and literally, over the mess as if it were a personal affront to his royal pride. Didn’t these barbarians know how to scrape their fucking trays off? His bangs hung limp in front of his eyes, and he was coated in a fine layer of sweat already.

This should not be happening to him. He was a prince, by the Gods, not some lowly kitchen drudge meant for menial labor! His hands - currently clad in nasty rubber gloves - were meant for dealing out death, and not scraping away some lazy ingrate’s leftovers. It was humiliating! Yet here he was, sent as punishment by Dodoria for ‘causing a commotion in the mess hall’ and ‘wasting food’.

Yeah, right. Causing a commotion… Like it had been his choice.Those fucking Ginyus had gone out of their way to gang up on him. Raditz had been with Vegeta as always, but had been ambushed by their cronies just as Vegeta set foot in the cafeteria. The prince was left to face his nemeses alone, surrounded by a room full of enemies whose only means of aid would be to chant for his blood.   

So, what was he supposed to do, just bend over and take it without a struggle? If he did not fight back he would look like a fucking pansy in front of the entire PTO - or at least those at breakfast - and that was pretty much the same thing. Rumors traveled faster than light around Home Base FP-79. Or he could turn tail run, and that would be no better. Within an hour, everyone and their mother would have heard that Vegeta had run like a bitch. Both choices just sucked.

No, he would not run and he would not hide. Not while there was breath in his body. Vegeta had done the honorable thing, the Saiyan thing, and fought back while the other rank and file watched in amusement and egged them on. It was only five to one, no big deal. By the time Raditz freed himself, the fight had begun and spread through the room like wildfire, as such fights have a way of doing. Those who chose not to engage in trading blows flipped over tables for shelter and lobbed their food and dishes.. It was a loud, messy and confusing clusterfuck that rapidly got out of hand. Vegeta knew who would be blamed.

He gave as good as he got and even managed a few good hits on Jeice before the guards came in to try and break it up, yelling and waving about ineffectively. No one paid attention to them over the din. A few minutes later, Dodoria stormed in, his face contorted in a spiky pink rage. Vegeta was in a headlock by that point, covered in food and bloodied up.

“Enough,” the massive General roared.

The fight immediately screeched to a halt. People stopped pummelling each other, others dropped their edible missiles. Everyone shut up and snapped to attention. Jeice released him, and Vegeta scrambled to his feet. Off to one side, Raditz shook off four soldiers who had been trying to pin him down. The Ginyu Force adopted lazy, half-hearted salutes and plastered wide grins on their hated faces. They all outranked Dodoria, so they did not have to kowtow to him.

Dodoria stomped over to where Vegeta stood, covered in food and blood. The Saiyan’s hair was slicked down with refuse, his armor a mottled pattern of colorful splotches, and one of his eyes had begun to swell.

“Oh, ‘ello General,” Jeice drawled in his thick accent. He wiped one gloved hand across his face, it came away a dull pink. The Brench warrior grinned, then patted Vegeta on the shoulder as if they were best of friends.  “We was just leavin’. Vegeta, we’ll catch up later. Alright, mate?”

Then they sauntered away, Lords of the Base, untouchable. Gods, how Vegeta hated them.

Vegeta opened his mouth to explain his pitiful state and to tell Dodoria what had happened. “General, I -”

“Do I look like I care?” Dodoria scowled around the destroyed mess hall, and his face contorted even further.  He pointed his meaty fist at Vegeta and Raditz as if ready to blast them into oblivion, then appeared to reconsider. “You two monkeys, get your asses in the back. Cleanup duty, NOW!  And don’t think I’m not checking up!”

Vegeta’s jaw dropped, and he had to bite his tongue to suppress a howl of rage.  “But - “

 Dodoria took another step forward, grabbed Vegeta by the front of his chestplate and hoisted him off his feet so they were eye to eye. “If I hear one more word out of you, Monkey Prince, I will _personally_ make sure you don’t eat for an entire week. Do make myself clear?” 

Some soldiers snickered behind their palms, enjoying the free entertainment at Vegeta’s expense. Others did not bother to hide their scorn; they laughed outright and flung insults much as they had flung food before.

Vegeta held Dodoria’s beady gaze for as long as he dared; he did not want to back down or appear like a coward. But in the end, he was forced to break eye contact before Frieza’s right hand man decided to do more than give him mess duty.  

“Clear, sir,” the Saiyan grated out through clenched teeth.

Dodoria dropped him without another word and Vegeta landed on his feet. The prince straightened up, dusted off his armor, then marched towards the back room like it had been his choice. He kept his head high, eyes forward, and ignored the jeers.  

Vegeta had not had his breakfast. He had not even made it to the servers.

Now he and Raditz were here, dealing in filth and waste and starving to death. The worst part was that they could not quiet their hunger pangs by eating the remains of the other soldiers’ meals. The organic remains were disposed of in a waste bin that mixed into a disgusting sludge that Vegeta’s pride would not allow him to touch. His stomach howled in protest and he bared his teeth in barely contained rage.

“Fucking Ginyus! Fucking Dodoria,” Vegeta ranted. “That _ma’tapa_ couldn’t even be bothered to listen to me.”  

“Did you think he would,” Raditz replied. He was up to his elbows in hot sudsy water. The  dishwasher was broken and waiting on repairs, so everything had to be washed by hand. Of course. “Vegeta, it wouldn’t matter if there was evidence on camera and the entire PTO vouched for you. That pink fuck would still side with the Ginyus.”

“Thanks, Raditz.  I feel _much_ better now.”

Vegeta stared down at the over-sized gloves that covered his hands, and growled low in the back of his throat. He had never washed a dish in his life - that was Raditz’ job -  and he did not wish to start now. Maybe if he dicked around long enough, Raditz would do the disgusting parts for him? He glanced over at the long-haired adolescent, but could not bear to beg. Vegeta grunted in annoyance and began to toss dishes into the sink, so at least it looked like he was doing something. You know, in case the shift boss looked in.

“Wait, _Ve’ho_! You have to scrape them first,” Raditz admonished. “You can’t just toss them in there like that!”

“Are you telling me what to do?”  Vegeta felt his hackles rise.

“No!  I mean, yes… But only to make this go quicker, not to be your boss. We have to work smart and fast, or the next shift’s gonna come in. Then we’ll be stuck here all day. I don’t know about you, but I want to eat before nighttime. Dodoria’s not gonna let us slide, and if we fuck this up, he’ll just narc us out to Zarbon. Or beat the hell of of us. I’m not interested in either option.”

“Fuck both Zarbon and Dodoria. They’re just looking for any excuse to screw me over,” Vegeta snarled. To that, Raditz did not reply. He just kept on washing.  
  
Vegeta continued to glare at the growing piles, some now almost as tall as he was. Such work was completely beneath his station and an insult to his royal lineage, but the thought of incurring further punitive actions and the threat of no food were strong motivators.

With great misgivings, Vegeta snatched up a plate and slammed it against the trash bin with such force that the plexi shattered. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed.Then he looked over at Raditz.  The older male had pulled his long locks out of the way, and wore a placid expression as he scrubbed with economical moves. He did not appear to be upset at all. It pissed Vegeta off even further. 

“How the hell can you just suck it up like that, Raditz?”

Raditz blew a loose strand out of his face, and gave a small shrug. “Honestly, Vegeta? Years and years of practice.”

Vegeta was not sure whether Raditz meant washing dishes or getting his ass kicked. Perhaps it was both. Sure, it was easy for Raditz to be chill about ass kickings. Hells, he was practically a professional at it. He probably enjoyed it, but Vegeta did not. Not one gods-damned bit.  

 We’re never going to get out of here,” Vegeta whined, as if Raditz had not heard all of his earlier complaints. He was being ignored! To make himself feel better, Vegeta smashed another glass.

Raditz glanced in Vegeta’s direction, that bland expression still on his face, but did not react. Instead, he looked away. He directed a powerful spray hose at a clean stack and washed the soap down the drain. “It gets easier the more you do it. Part of the trick is to distract yourself. Trust me, it works.”

“This is a joke! We’re warriors, not glorified busboys! I swear I’m going to get them back, Raditz. Even if I have to end up in the tank to do so. They can’t make a fool out of the Prince of Saiyans!”  
  
Raditz licked his lips, then spoke in level tones. He kept his eyes down and looked at his hands. “That’s easy for you to say, _Ve’ho_. You don’t pay the medical bills.”  

“So you’re saying I should have just rolled over like a coward and let them beat me down?” Vegeta could not help the bitter edge that tinged his words.  

The tall male took in a deep breath, held it, then released it. “That’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that there are sometimes when you … _we_ …  should be more strategic about our fights. LIke Nappa says - ”

“And fuck Nappa too!” Vegeta snarled as his face turned red. He was glad that Raditz was not looking at him. “Where was he when I needed him?”

Another sigh. ”As I was saying, pick your battles. Going up against the Ginyu Force and Dodoria isn’t brave, it’s suicidal. And you know that, too. In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a fight you can win by yourself.”

  
“Pft. Says you, weakling.”

“No, it’s true. Sometimes you need to learn when to expend your energy, and when to let things go. Hell, when shit goes bad - I mean really bad - I try to let it roll off my back. Even laugh at it.”

“Well you laugh at it all you want, Raditz. Me, I’m not going to bow down to anyone.”

“ _Heu, Ve’ho_. Not everything has to be taken so damned seriously. It might do you some good to learn to lighten up a bit. Even, maybe, have some fun.” Raditz flicked some suds towards the little prince, who scowled.

“This is _not_ fun! You can’t possibly think it is!”

“No, not really, but it’s all in your point of view. Anything can be a good time or a trip to Hell, it all depends on how you tackle it. But I guess...” Raditz made eye contact. A sly grin spread across his pointed face. “Maybe princes aren’t allowed to have fun. Seeing that it’s beneath their station and all.”

Vegeta puffed up and lashed his tail, sure for a moment that Raditz was insulting him. Then he saw the smile on Raditz’ face, and realized that Raditz was poking fun at him. Distracting him. “Of course I know how to _have fun_ , you giant hairy dolt!”

“I don’t mean killing things, Vegeta, although that can be fun. I meant kicking back and have a good time with your _getau_ , hanging out…”

Vegeta rolled his eyes. He knew what Raditz considered to be a good time. “You mean, go out and get trashed and laid, like you and Nappa do on downtime?”

Raditz raised an eyebrow at the bitter tone and opened his mouth, only to be overridden by the angry young Prince’s rant.  

“Well, in case you’ve forgotten, I can’t do those things because the damned PTO regulations won’t let me walk into any of the fucking bars on site because I’m NOT A LEGAL ADULT!” Vegeta snarled, in a mocking tone, then flicked his tail in an obscene and dismissive gesture.

“That’s not what I meant.” Raditz had heard this rant on many occasions. Honestly he agreed with Vegeta but neither could do much about it. Legally.

“What did you mean, then?”

“You know, just some light-hearted fun. A little tail-pulling, goofing off, that sort of thing.”  
  
“Goofing off?”  
  
“Yeah.” Raditz broke into a wide smile as his eyes looked into the past. “I’ll give you an example. When I was in Training School on Vegetasai, we would pull pranks on each other all the time. Like, replacing someone’s soap with hair oils so they ended up all slicked, sneaking out at night to spray paint fake gang signs on the barrack walls, throwing rotted fruit through the officer’s windows, leading the guards on a chase through the bad sectors after sending in some working girls…  you know .. stuff you do with your _ji’tach_.”

 _No, I don’t really know,_ but Vegeta would be damned if he let Raditz know that.

“Laaaame,” the prince drawled, and ignored Raditz’s annoyed huff. “You mean _kit_ stuff, right?  And how is painting a wall any fun?”

“Vegeta, not everything is life or death. Sometimes, it’s good for us just to be playful, joke around, have a sense of humor.“

Right.  

“So. You’re saying I don’t know how to have fun, Raditz? Is that it?” Vegeta replied with his back toward Raditz so the older male could not see his smile.

“This again?  Didn’t you listen to a word I said?” Raditz flapped his arms in aggravation and sent soap suds flying. “Gods, just forget it.” 

“Heh. Calm your tits, Raditz. I’m just pulling your tail. Didn’t expect _that_ , did you?” 

Raditz stared at Vegeta, then they both broke into awkward laughter. The really funny thing was  that Raditz was right, distractions did help. He had forgotten to be miserable for a few moments.

The fact still remained that Raditz thought the prince was humorless, that he did not know how to ‘have fun’, and that bugged Vegeta.  

 _If he wants a joke, by Blood and Battle, I’ll give him a joke._   _That stupid long-haired asshat thinks I don’t know how to joke around?  I’ll show him. I’ll make him have fun until it_ kills him!

Let the games begin _._


	2. Cleaning Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegeta and Raditz decide to engage in a pranking contest. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my excellent beta TheAsh0 and to MegaKat for giving me permission to use her Saiyan language
> 
> Words and phrases used in this chapter:  
> Au ten jik’hi - You’re a giant asshole  
> Getau - friends/allies  
> Ma’tapa - curse word  
> Ve’ho - prince

It had not been a good day for Vegeta and Raditz. Even though the original punishment was for breakfast, Dodoria kept adding shifts until the Saiyans were stuck through closing. Vegeta was damned sure that the massive General did it just to spite him personally. They likely would have gotten out sooner if Vegeta had just kept his mouth shut and done the work, but the prince was never one to keep quiet. The argument ended when Dodoria threatened to permanently assign them to kitchen duty.

The only good thing, if one could say that, was they were finally able to scavenge some edible leftovers at the end of the day to tide them over. So Vegeta and Raditz left Mess Hall Five tired, dirty, and annoyed after spending all day in the back room on dish duty. Their armor was soiled, their boots caked with muck, and their hair bedraggled as if they had been through a washer themselves.

Other soldiers turned up their noses as they passed in the halls and whispered to each other about the ‘dirty monkeys’. Raditz made sure to keep a hand on Vegeta’s shoulder in hopes of keeping the younger Saiyan focused. The only reason that Vegeta decided not to nuke the weaklings was because he did not wish to incur Dodoria’s wrath twice in one day. He seethed inside, however, and took the time to memorize the faces of every being who dared to insult him.

“You’re all on my list,” Vegeta hissed. “Every single one of you!”

It was a very long list. Every night, Vegeta placed the names of people who had pissed him off into his tablet. Sometimes he knew their names, and sometimes he did not. That did not stop him. Vegeta was a champion grudge holder.

The Saiyans had the elevator to themselves; everyone else decided to wait for the next car. That was fine, as it meant they made it to their flat with no altercations.

Nappa eyed them when they dragged in, angry and hungry. The towering Commander had sprawled out on the yellow couch in front of the screen with a drink in one hand. Both of his booted feet were propped up on the low table and several empty bottles of alcohol lay about; it probably meant that he was well on his way to being drunk. When he saw the state they were in, he just shook his balding head and clicked his tongue.

“Ginyus again, Vegeta?” As if Nappa didn’t already know what had happened. “What was it this time?”

His temper rocketing to new height, Vegeta clenched his fists so tight that his nails dug into his palms.. He did not need shit from Nappa, too. “They jumped me. I had to fight back. And then Dodoria-”

“Why were ya in the mess hall alone, _ve’ho_?” Weren’t you two boys supposed to stick together? I thought I told ya ta keep an eye on him, Raditz! And why,” Nappa stopped to rub his at his reddened eyes with one hand. His breath reeked of booze and he slurred a bit when he spoke. “Why in the name of Blood and Battle did ya think startin’ a food fight was a good idea?”

Raditz bristled at the implication that the encounter was somehow his fault. “Thanks a lot, Nappa! I totally planned it that we’d run into the Ginyus. In fact, we’re going to have lunch together tomorrow.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could take them back, and Raditz regretted it. The oldest Saiyan was known to lash out when he had drank too much; and he only dared to take it out on Raditz because the maned adolescent was the weakest of the pack. Gods forbid that Nappa would ever say a cross word to the prince.

Nappa sat up straighter and glared dangerously. Raditz crossed his arms in a defensive position but did not step back out of range. Instead, he tried to school his features and control his reaction. Show no fear...

“Don’t blame me,” Raditz pushed. He was tired of being the scapegoat. “Some of their little cronies laid in wait for us when we got in line. So when ve’ho stepped in the mess, they jumped me. Kept me down just long enough for the Asshole Force to grab Vegeta. We both went down fighting, but we didn’t start flinging slop around. Hells, do you think we’d actually waste food like that? We could have eaten for a month on what they threw around.”

Nappa’s face twisted, and he lumbered to his feet. He towered over both of the younger Saiyans, and weaved slightly. One bleary eye stared at Raditz as if he were deciding whether to jack the adolescent up a wall or not. He thought for a moment, a process slowed by drink, and then sighed.

“I guess that makes sense,” the old warrior rumbled, then took another pull from his bottle.. “And how many times do I gotta tell you two ta keep an eye out?”

“You just did.” Vegeta was the only one who could get away with mouthing off to the Commander. “Besides, I’m not a baby. I don’t need to be coddled.”

“Look, Nappa, I did my best. And unless you want me to be stapled to Vegeta, it’s impossible. Besides, you weren't there. You didn’t see what happened.”

In a rare moment of solidarity, Vegeta came to Raditz’ defense. “They overwhelmed us with numbers, and they did it in public areas where we’re not supposed to fight. It was self defense, no matter what Dodoria says. And I’m not interested in being that close to Raditz.”

Nappa exhaled through his nostrils and then chuckled. Crisis averted. “Okay, boys. Just stay outta their way for a while, okay? An’I know ya don’t like ta pass on a fight, _ve’ho_ , but sometimes -”

“I know, I know.” Vegeta interrupted. “I’ve got to pick my battles. You sound just like Raditz.”

“Heh.” Nappa smiled, and then punched Raditz in the upper arm. “Glad yer listening.”

\---------

One week passed since the Mess Hall incident; Vegeta and Raditz stayed together, laid low, and made sure to stay out of Dodoria’s way. They did not talk about what had happened by mutual agreement; Vegeta did not mention their discussion about his lack of humor either, but he did not forget what Raditz had said. In fact, it stayed at the forefront of his mind.

Vegeta was not known for his patience, but he took the challenge of ‘having fun’ very seriously. He was going to watch and wait, lure Raditz into a false sense of security, and then find the perfect time and place to yank Raditz’ tail good. And because the prince was also so damned serious all of the time, it would come as a total surprise. Raditz would never see it coming.

The perfect opportunity presented itself after a routine workout. Vegeta sat on one of the benches in the locker room and waited on Raditz. Vegeta himself never used the PTO bathing facilities, too many bad experiences. He preferred the relative safety of their apartment. This meant that Raditz was forced to clean up on site and that Vegeta was forced to wait around, like a commoner, or risk the tram ride home solo. Normally he would have just gone on without Raditz but he was resolute to stay trouble free, at least for a while.

“Hurry up,” he mentally urged the older Saiyan. “I haven’t got all day.”

Although … he did.

Arms folded, he tapped his foot so rapidly that the bench vibrated. Then his eyes drifted down to where Raditz had left his armor, boots, and undergarments because he knew Vegeta was there to keep an eye on them. A wide and wicked smile spread across Vegeta’s face and his eyes twinkled. Then he started to chuckle and gathered up Raditz’ clothing.

 “Gah….” he gagged, and recoiled at the odor. When was the last time Raditz ran these damn things through a washer? Nasty long-haired bastard.

Oh yes, just … perfect! I’ll show you some fun! I am Vegeta, Prince of Pranks! Laughing (like an evil monkey), the young Saiyan took to his feet and swiftly left the locker room, and Raditz, behind. This was way better than putting graffiti on some old wall.

Five minutes into the tram ride back to the barracks, his scouter screeched and then erupted to life. “GODSDAMNIT, VEGETA! Where the fuck are my clothes, you little shit?”

Vegeta could not help it, he just started to roar with laughter. The other passengers side-eyed him and shifted away. Sometimes it was nice to have the reputation of being slightly unhinged; it meant people let you be..

“Maybe you should wash them more, Raditz. They were so dirty they just got up and walked away.”

“I swear to all the Gods, Vegeta, that when I get my hands on you…”

“You’ll do what? Tickle me with your attacks? Yell at me some more? You should be thankful I’m helping you out. You’ll be fine, though, you can just wear your hair. It’s long enough.“

“You asshole,” Raditz howled in indignation.

“Who says I don’t know how to have fun?” Vegeta leaned back and put his hands behind his head, thoroughly enjoying himself.

“This isn’t what I meant!”

“Well, You should have been more specific, Raditz.”

* * *

 

Vegeta returned to the apartment and flopped down on the couch to wait for Raditz’ return. He passed the time by watching off-planet sparring matches, mocking their sloppy techniques, and stuffing himself with savory handfuls of crisp rinds. He could not wait to see the look on Raditz’ face.

Raditz stomped in an hour later, clad in a pair of black pants and new boots. His angular face was a mask of barely contained fury. His long hair was unbound and in need of a good combing; it gave him a feral appearance that would intimidate a lesser warrior than Vegeta. He said nothing to the prince, grabbed a beer out of the cold store, popped the seal with one fingernail and finished most of it in one long gulp.

“How was your workout,” Vegeta said, unable to resist needling the older boy.

“Fuck you,” Raditz growled, in a rare moment of just not giving a shit.

Usually, Vegeta would punch Raditz in the mouth for talking to him like that, but this time he gave it a pass. He stuffed another handful of snacks in his mouth and crunched away. Raditz grabbed his armor off the table, sat in one of the chairs as far away from Vegeta as he could be, then pulled on his chestplate in sullen silence. He did not look at the prince. His eyebrows were drawn so close together that it almost looked like a unibrow. Vegeta choked on his food a bit at that thought. Raditz ignored that, too. At the moment, he did not care if Vegeta choked to death.

“Au ten jik’hi,” Raditz began, after an extended and awkward silence. “Thanks to you, I owe the Armory for new boots, and Zarbon wrote me up for ‘indecent exposure’. “

Vegeta spit out the remainder of the crisps all over himself. “Bwahaha! Wrote you up? I would have thought ‘Master’ Zarbon would enjoy creeping on you.”

Raditz’ scowl deepened, but he did not seek to defend Zarbon this time. “This isn’t funny, Vegeta! My pay for a week is gone!”

With a snort, Vegeta blinked and gave Raditz a wide-eyed innocent gaze. “But, I thought you enjoyed pranks. You know: yanking each other’s tails, goofing off, good old _getau_ stuff…”

“Sometimes, you take things too far.” Raditz snarled. It was the understatement of the century.

“So what are you going to do about it?” Vegeta said. He refused to let Raditz ruin his good mood.

Raditz drank the rest of his beer in silence before he responded, his tone light: “You know... this means war, _ve’ho_.”

“Bring it on, you spiky-headed doofus. We’ll see who can have the most fun.”

\---------

A day passed.

Vegeta looked over his shoulder, determined not to let Raditz get the best of him. But, nothing happened. In fact, Raditz acted like nothing was going on, like their challenge had never been issued.

Two days passed, and then three.

Vegeta started to become irritated and jumpy, constantly on the edge as he waited for the inevitable payback. Unless Raditz had decided to wuss out. That was possible.

You damn pussy, what’s the holdup? Can’t you think of anything good, or are you just too afraid of me?

On the fourth day of anxious waiting, they went to the gym for their daily work out. Too much time had passed, in Vegeta’s opinion, and Raditz had still not gotten him back. So, Vegeta decided to force Raditz’ hand. He made sure to leave his items with Raditz and made sure to dawdle around. Yet when he emerged from the sparring room, he saw that both Raditz and his things were there, waiting for him.

“Eh, _ve’ho_ ,” Raditz greeted him with a wave and a friendly smile. “Do you want to stop by the Noodle Hut before I go to assist Master Zarbon?”

What the hell is he waiting for?

“No … we don’t have the money. Nappa would kill us.”

“Suit yourself.” Raditz shrugged, then stood up and stretched. With a wave of his tail, he left. He did not even look back.

Vegeta felt one of his eyes start to twitch. Well played, Raditz. Well played ...I would have gone for it.

Even though Nappa would have bitched if he found out, Vegeta returned home by himself to relax and take a private shower. To be honest, he needed a little time away from Raditz and the constant strain of wondering when the other would act. By now, the royal was jumping at shadows.

The flat was quiet and dark. It was nice, sometimes, to have some space without a hairy minder or Nappa up his butt. He stripped off his armor, ate one of the lunches Raditz had prepared, then wandered into the bathroom to clean up. He stepped into the stall and turned the water on full force. Vegeta closed his eyes and just let it run down his body for a minute, luxuriating in the warmth. He hummed under his breath as he lathered up. Yes, so very nice to have the place to himself.

Then, without warning, the water turned ice cold. It felt like a horde of stinging insects attacked him. Vegeta could not help but let out a high pitched yelp in surprise and jump back out of the frigid spray. He glared up at the nozzle, affronted. What the hell, he was not done with his shower! He waited a few chilling seconds to see if the hot water would kick back in. No such luck; he either could rinse off in the arctic stream, or spend the rest of the day itching.

Vegeta steeled himself, stepped back under the brittle spray, and began to scrub again as fast as he could. His teeth started to chatter uncontrollably. At least he could heat up his body with Ki once he was clean.

Vegeta did not have to worry about it for long; a few seconds later, the water cut out entirely.

“What the … “ Vegeta stood there, dumbfounded. He reached up, jimmied the nozzle, to no avail. They had not used up their weekly water allotment. They couldn’t have.

He wrapped a towel around his small frame, surrounded himself in Ki to dry off and warm up, and stomped out of the bathroom. His face was twisted into a scowl.Oh, he was going to have words with Raditz about this. Hot water was a necessity, not a suggestion!

“That fucking Raditz,” he muttered. Then stopped when he noticed he was no longer alone.

Raditz sat at the kitchen table, his feet up and a wicked grin upon his face. Waiting for him. “How was your shower, _ve’ho_?”

“I’m going to kill you,” Vegeta raged. “Where the hell is my water?”

“Oh … right.” Raditz rubbed at his chin, as if deep in thought. “Sorry about that, Vegeta. I forgot to mention it to you earlier, but I couldn’t afford to pay the bill this week. You know, because I needed to pay my fines. You can always go back to the gym and finish your shower there, but you’d better watch your things. I hear they can just walk away.”


	3. Fine Dining

Vegeta spent the rest of the day actively ignoring Raditz. He refused to make a trip to the public baths to get the rest of the soap off of his skin. To do so would mean admitting that Raditz had gotten the best of him and won this round.  Vegeta would rather die than let Raditz think he had the upper hand in their ongoing battle of wits. 

He wandered into the kitchenette and began to rummage through the pantry, in search of a suitable pre-dinner snack to distract himself from the horrid itching. It felt like thousands of needles were being jabbed into his skin, but he would not complain. No, he would not give Raditz that satisfaction. The image of that long-haired buffoon grinning from ear to ear was more than enough to keep from scratching himself raw.

As usual, the choices were quite lacking.  The cold store was almost bare and all the good snacks had been eaten already. In hopes that Raditz had hidden something, he floated to the top shelf. The fact that he still had not grown enough to reach those from the floor somehow added to his anger at the older teen.

The top of the pantry yielded the same results as the rest of the kitchen: nothing, outside of a few packages of nasty dried protein cubes that even rats would not touch and one sad package of noodles with a layer of dust so think Vegeta could write his name in it.  Damn, didn’t Raditz ever clean? 

Then he spotted the jars of dried spices that Raditz used, filled with savory herbs and sweet leaves and peppers so hot that they would burn the roof of your mouth off.  Hmmm… And then, an idea began to form in his devious mind. One of his eyebrows raised, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly and then spread into a wicked grin. He glanced back over his shoulder at Raditz.  The older youth had sunk into the old sagging couch and seemed to be staring at the screen, paying the prince no attention. 

_ Heh, It’s a good thing I always wear gloves.  _ Vegeta stealthily opened the jar of dried peppers, selected one by its stem, then crushed it between both clothed palms. The skin on a Saiyan’s palms were like leather, but why take the chance?  The pungent odor bit into his nostrils and for a second his eyes began to sting. It crumbled into a fine powder which he poured into a bag and then secreted on his person. One generous pinch was enough to add heat to an entire pot of food and more than enough for his purposes.

Vegeta took one of his supplement drinks from the cold store, selected a dried protein bar and sat at the table to figure out his next move.     

_ Put it in his shampoo?  Nah, too easy. Besides, he’d be looking for something like that.  In his ale? He’d smell it a mile away. Seed his undergarments with it?  That was a hilarious possibility, but how often did he change them? _  No, it had to be something that Raditz would not even suspect, something that he was sure to interact with, like say … his tablet which conveniently lay on the table. 

_ You’ll be sorry that you didn’t pay the water bill now, Raditz.  Really sorry.  _

With another covert glance in Raditz’ direction, Vegeta poured the powder onto the palms of his gloves, lightly rubbed them together, and then picked up the datapad to give it a liberal coating. Vegeta tucked the packet back into his waistband, made sure to put the tablet back in the exact same location, then removed his gloves. He finished off his snack, then wandered into their sleeping section and casually tossed the gloves into the laundry bin. He did not wish to become a victim of his own prank. 

Usually Raditz was glued to his datapad, always talking to Nappa or Zarbon. Moreso Zarbon, since Raditz worked for the fallen prince almost as much as he participated in purge missions - much to the chagrin of Nappa. But this evening, it almost seemed like he was avoiding it just to deny Vegeta his sweet revenge.  

After a short debate, the Saiyans decided to take a pass on the mess hall; instead Raditz cooked up a big pan of  _ th’di _ \- his specialty dish made with noodles, reconstituted vegetables, savory broth, and a special mix of herbs that included the peppers. When Raditz opened the jar to take out a few, Vegeta worried that the older Saiyan would immediately notice one was missing.  When Raditz put the jar back without comment, Vegeta had to cover his mouth to hide his smile. 

After the meal was finished and the dishes cleared, the three kicked back in front of the screen for the evening. Normally on a rest day Nappa and sometimes Raditz would go out on the town to carouse, get drunk, and find willing company while Vegeta remained behind. Not that he really wanted to participate.  But since no one had any credits, they were all stuck at home to make the best of it. The two older men drank and laughed, and Vegeta sat with his knees pulled up to his chest - a position that he found comforting - and waited. 

It was difficult not to keep glancing at Raditz’ tablet, or at Raditz himself.  The maned Saiyan was usually observant to the smallest changes in behavior, and Vegeta did not want to tip him off.  As the night progressed, Vegeta became more and more agitated; it felt like his body was buzzing with electricity and it made it hard for him to remain in one place while the others roared and drank. They did not even offer him a beer.  Selfish bastards. But that was fine, he did not like alcohol anyways. It tasted like shit and only made them act like bigger morons. 

_ Tch.  How long am I going to have to wait?  Pick the damn tablet up! Don’t make me get it for you!  _ Vegeta stared at the back of Raditz’ head, willing him to act, to no avail, and to the prince’s growing annoyance. 

Finally, after several hours and a copious amount of cheap ale that even the rank and file could afford, Raditz stood up and grabbed his tablet and then headed off to the bathroom.   _ About damn time! _ _ This’ll teach Raditz to mess with me.  _ Vegeta kept his eyes fixed on the screen and bit his lip so hard that he drew blood. He started to mentally count the seconds until …. 

“Augggghhhhh!”  Raditz’s sudden agonized wail reverberated through their entire thin-walled quarters.  Nappa snapped to attention at the noise, and Vegeta had to fight not to burst into laughter.  He settled for a low snicker of amusement and kicked up his feet on the table, a satisfied grin on his face.  _ Gotcha…. _

Nappa tried to stand and had to steady himself with one hand, then wove a crooked line towards the bathroom to check on Raditz, tripping over empties as he went. When he opened the door, he found Raditz collapsed on the floor in obvious pain, doubled over and twitching.  The youth’s face had twisted up and turned an unnatural shade of scarlet. Tears streamed down his cheeks and snot ran from his nose. HIs eyes had started to puff up as well, sealing shut from the reaction. He clutched his groin with both hands and curled up into a fetal position, moaning like a dying animal.  

“The hell’s goin’ on,” Nappa slurred.

“My  _ junk _ !! It feels like it’s on fire!”  The adolescent moaned, his voice had gone up an octave.

“Bwaahahahahaa!!!!”  As Raditz continued to howl in the other room, an almost desperate sound of agony, Vegeta could not help it. He clutched his stomach, doubled over and almost toppled out of his chair.

Even tipsy, Nappa could take a guess at who to blame.  He turned around in the doorway, almost fell over his own feet, and then pointed an accusatory finger in the prince’s direction. “What did you do, Vegeta?”

“Put… dried peppers … on his tablet,” Vegeta managed to gasp out between gales of laughter. 

Nappa did not … could not .. respond for a few seconds. His mouth hung open and his jaw worked, but no words came out.  Finally he managed to splutter: “What in the name of Blood and Battle is wrong with you? That’s not funny,  _ ve’ho _ !”

“You’re right, Nappa.” In response to the raw fury Nappa projected, Vegeta pulled a sad face. He hung his head low in mock shame and even tried to look remorseful, but could not manage to keep the facade up for long. He was never good at being sorry, and  Nappa wasn’t buying it anyways. “It’s not funny. It’s fucking  _ hilarious _ !.”

Nappa snarled, turned his back on the prince in disgust, then squatted down next to Raditz. The big Saiyan looked Raditz over with a sympathetic eye, then helped the youth crawl to his knees.  “Ahh… c’mon, Raditz. We gotta get ya cleaned up. You’re starting to look like Jeice.”

“No water, remember?” Raditz hissed from between clenched teeth. “Besides - water won’t help with capsaicin! Rubbing alcohol … or cooking oil… can’t see... ”

“Hmmm. Yeah - we’ll talk about _ that _ later.” Nappa sighed and rubbed one hand over his face. His buzz was gone, and he was stone cold sober. No amount of rubbing alcohol could help fix this!  “Ya look like shit, boy. I think ya need ta go to Medical.”

“No!” Raditz shouted, his voice weak.  The thought of Doctor Berra the kindly base doctor seeing him like this mortified him. “I’ll be fine.  Besides … We can’t afford it.”

He obviously was  _ not  _ fine.  Even Vegeta could see that.

“You’re going. That’s an order. And you,  _ ve’ho _ , put yer boots on and get your tail in gear.” Before the prince could gripe, Nappa cut him off. Clearly, Nappa was not putting up with any more of his shit. 

While Vegeta dressed, Nappa had to pull the other Saiyan up to his feet. Once Raditz was standing, Nappa wrapped an arm around his waist to support the older boy. By now, Raditz’ eyes had swelled completely shut and he was blind.  He kept his hands cupped around his groin and hissed in pain at every movement. Together they began to make their way towards the door; Nappa supported almost all of Raditz’s weight. Raditz’s head hung low, his long hair obscured his face.

“You’re a dick, Vegeta,”  Raditz managed to gasp.

“You had it coming,” Vegeta replied. After the words came out of his mouth he felt a slight twinge of guilt, but quickly forced it down.  He did not want to look weak by admitting he had messed up, or that he regretted his actions. 

“That’s it,” Nappa roared, beyond done. “I don’t know what’s goin’ on between you two idiots, but when it costs us credits we don’t have, that’s when it’s gonna stop! After we’re done at Medical, we’re all havin’ a talk about team cohesion.”

_ Heu m’yo, not that _ ...  _ anything but another long winded lecture! _   Vegeta scowled as he yanked his boots on, good mood dashed.

“Move it, Vegeta! This isn’t a game!” The Commander’s face was dark, and he looked so damn pissed that for a second Vegeta worried that the hulking warrior might actually hit him.  

“Fine.”  For once, Vegeta did not have a snappy response.

Nappa gave Vegeta the eye the entire time they waited in Medical. In response, Vegeta folded his arms across his chest and pretended not to notice. Two hours and two hundred credits  worth of added debt later, Raditz emerged from the good doctor’s office. His face was the color of blood, red not just from the allergic reaction he had suffered. He had developed a nervous stutter and refused to make eye contact with anyone, but at least he could open his eyes a little.

“Well, what’s the damage?” Nappa said. 

“Erm …”  Raditz coughed, then cleared his throat.  “Berra, er, I mean Doctor Berra, said it’s a severe case of contact dermatits - I mean  _ dermatitis _ \- made worse by exposure to - “  _ cough _ “-  _ sensitive _ skin. She gave me a shot in the ass and some pills for the next few weeks.”

“Hah - tits!!” Nappa guffawed and slapped his palms on his thighs, amused by Raditz’ slip up. Vegeta joined in the laughter, to Raditz’ further embarrassment.

.“You’re not helping, Nappa!” Raditz hissed through puffy lips.  

Then Nappa remembered he was still pissed off at Vegeta. He wiped the goofy smile off his mustached face and cleared his throat.  “Ahem...right, let’s get outta here.”

“Ooooooooo ….  _ Berra _ ,” Vegeta drawled, then made googly eyes at Raditz behind Nappa’s back. Everyone knew that Raditz had a long unrequited crush on the diminutive physician, and Vegeta never missed a chance to poke fun at him over it.  “Hey, just look at it this way: at least you had an excuse to see her. Bet it was fun having her look at the …ahem … affected area. You’re welcome for that.”   
  
“Oh,  _ hi'nah _ , both of you” Raditz snarled, and flushed a brighter shade of crimson. “And I didn’t need your ‘help’,  _ ve’ho _ !”   

“Could have fooled me,” Vegeta said with a satisfied grin.  Raditz just ignored him and mumbled under his breath.

Once back in their studio apartment in the Residential dome, Raditz settled on the mustard yellow couch with an icepack on his groin. The swelling in his face and hands had receded; he had been shot up with an industrial strength cocktail of antihistamines, progesterone, and a relaxer. He could have been hit with a planet and not felt it. 

Vegeta placed a glass of cold water on the table within Raditz’ reach, then perched on one of the old beaten chairs near him.  Normally, the prince would not serve Raditz - or anyone else for that matter - but the guilt, or Nappa’s long winded rant about  _ ji’tach _ , or both - got to him and he felt the need to rectify the situation. 

“Thanks, Vegeta.” Raditz smiled, still a bit drowsy from all the drugs.

“Don’t get used to it, this is a one time deal.” Vegeta warned, then stared down at his hands and thought for a minute. It was supposed to be just a harmless little prank, just a little bit of fun and it had spiralled horribly out of control. Maybe, just maybe, he had gone too far? Maybe it was time to call a truce and put the game to rest.  “Hey, um, it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. It was supposed to be a joke… I didn’t think you’d end up in Medical looking like a puffer.”

Raditz stared at the prince.  Wait, was that an  _ apology _ ? He coughed, then shifted to get more comfortable. He was not sure if he was feeling uncomfortable physically, or because Vegeta had actually expressed some sort of responsibility for his actions. 

“Why would you think that was a good idea, Vegeta? I mean, there were easier and less painful ways to get me back.” That was the problem with Vegeta, in Raditz’ opinion.  The prince just did not  _ think _ about things; he just acted and then apologized later, and others paid the price.

Vegeta huffed and crossed his arms.  Here he was, trying to show some level of concern - which he did not have to do - and Raditz was getting all uppity about it.  To think he was actually considering calling a truce, but now … screw that! The Prince of Saiyans never gave up, never gave in. “Hn...Can’t take the heat, can you? Next time, get your own water.”

“What the hell is wrong with you boys?”  Nappa sat in the other chair, a beer in each hand, and butted into their conversation.  “I thought I told you two to knock it off! If I hear one more word about this outta you two, I’m gonna knock your skulls together until some sense falls in.”

“Tch.”  Vegeta rolled his eyes towards his guardian and sighed dramatically. “You take all the fun out of it.”

“I mean it,  _ ve’ho _ .”  

Vegeta did not bother to justify that with a response. Instead, he kicked off his boots, planted his feet on the table, and stared at the screen.  The three sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while; Nappa drank, Vegeta ignored him, and Raditz was too wasted to do much. After a while, Nappa wandered off to the bathroom to recycle all of the alcohol he had borrowed.

Once the old man was out of earshot, Vegeta leaned towards Raditz and whispered:  “Don’t even think I’m giving up now.”

Raditz did not reply at first, he just stared at Vegeta, his expression unreadable.“Well, just remember this, Vegeta.  Payback is a bitch.”

“Glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor,” Vegeta snickered.  “You’re going to need it.”


	4. Keeping House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mad appreciation to awesome beta readers TheAsh0 and Firestorm1991 and to Megakat for use of her Saiyan language
> 
> Words and phrases used in this chapter:
> 
> ge'tahu- friends/allies  
> Heu m'yo - my gods  
> jik'hiu - assholes  
> ji'tach - Saiyan fighting team, family unit  
> ve'ho - prince

 

* * *

The next day after the pepper incident, the Saiyans received their notification for the upcoming mandatory inspection of living quarters, and as usual Nappa glowered and griped about it to such an extent that Vegeta stuffed his ears to block out the noise. Barrack inspections were conducted once a year and they were universally considered to be an excuse for higher ranking officers to harass their lessers, rifle through their stuff, and invent new reasons for punishments and fees. Soldiers' personal items often went 'mysteriously' missing, so anyone with half a brain hid items they did not want to lose. At least it was not a surprise visit; so the three Saiyans had enough notice to make sure the place was clean, to ensure that the alcohol was gone, and the food stores locked up tight.

Raditz volunteered to stay behind and clean their apartment up to standards, as he usually did when the inspectors made their rounds. While Raditz house-sat, Vegeta and Nappa made a grudging trek to Zarbon's office to beg for extra work, hoping to make up for the previous weeks' additional prank-related expenses.

"What's up with you and Raditz lately?" The rumble of the tram created a background hum that lulled Vegeta into a false sense of relaxation so Nappa's question caught him off guard.

"What?" Vegeta blinked a few times to clear the cobwebs from his mind, then stared up at his massive guardian. "Don't know what you mean, Nappa."

"Ah  _heu m'yo_!" Nappa scrubbed at his face with his hands and rumbled in irritation. "We gonna do it like this? I'm talkin' about this 'prank' nonsense. And don't act like ya don't know what I'm talkin' about."

"Oh … that?" Vegeta plastered a disarming grin on his face and cocked his head to the side, as if it were not even worth his time to answer. "Tch, it's nothing! We're just having a bit of fun."

Nappa did not smile in return. His lips pressed into a thin line. "Yeah … well,  _ve'ho_ , there's a real big difference between doin' harmless jokes to each other and doin' something that ends up costin' us credits. Lots of 'em."

Vegeta inhaled, then clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth. "Uh ...so… let me see if I understand this. You don't care if someone gets hurt … just if it's expensive?"

Nappa growled low at his young charge and grabbed his head with both hands, tugged at his mohawk. "Auuugghhhh… Vegeta! As usual, ya totally missed the point!"

"What  _is_  the point, Nappa?" Vegeta gave his guardian a sly look. He so enjoyed needling the older Saiyan.

"The  _point_ is.. and I can't believe I hafta break it down for ya like this … ya don't seem to know when to let something go!" Nappa's eyebrows knit together in that special look he got when frustrated.

"Seriously? It's not a big deal, like Raditz said," Vegeta growled. Why the hell couldn't Nappa just shut the hell up about it?

"Raditz didn't seem to be havin' fun in medical, Vegeta. Why keep it up when no one seems to be havin' any fun?"

"Fine," the prince huffed. Clearly, Nappa was not going to let it go. Stupid Nappa… "You want to know why? Because he thinks I've got a stick up my ass, that I don't know how to relax, to 'have fun'. I  _know_  how to have fun. Raditz is just mad because I one-upped him and he's got nothing in return!"

The sigh Nappa emitted sounded like a kettle ready to boil over. "All of this nonsense because Raditz poked fun at you?  _Heu_ , ya need ta grow a tougher skin,  _ve'ho_."

That set off Vegeta's volatile temper and he became furious in a split second. He hissed up at Nappa, all hints of playfulness or good humor vanished. A flash of heat radiated from his body like a whip snap. "Don't you tell me what to do, Nappa. You're always saying that I need to lighten up and when I do, you're bitching at me. Make up your damn mind!"

Nappa never knew what would trigger the boy from one day to another, it was like a deadly version of craps. However, Vegeta's anger was like a flash of lightning - bright and sometimes deadly, but usually short lived. Usually.

Back in the day on Vegetasai, if a cadet had dared to mouth off like that he would have found himself in the infirmary with a broken jaw. Sadly, Nappa could not discipline Vegeta like that … though the gods knew he often wanted to. The last prince needed a good dose of humility, but Nappa did not want to drive the boy further away. And … he'd sworn an oath on his tail to the king that he would guard and guide Vegeta.

The two did not speak for the rest of the journey to the Main Office, or on their way back. Vegeta gave the older Saiyan the silent treatment. The prince was a champion grudge holder, usually over the stupidest things.

As they rode up the lift to their apartment, Vegeta fretted about what they might find, or  _not_ find. Would their furniture be smashed and a write-up issued for 'slovenliness'? It had happened before. Would their cupboards be pillaged, their few possessions looted?

However, nothing seemed out of place when they first walked in. Raditz sat on the couch, which was still in one piece. The place looked positively spotless. All the dishes had been washed and put away, the tables cleared of clutter, the floors shone. Hell, it almost looked  _too_  clean.

" _Eh_ ," Raditz nodded in their direction, and got to his feet. "We lucked out this time; it wasn't any of the Elites conducting the inspection. Those  _ge'tahu_  were more interested in getting it over and done with than fucking around with us. I guess they didn't want to be in here for too long. You know, they didn't want to catch anything communicable from the monkeys. Heh. I guess it's good to have a bad rep sometimes, right?"

Vegeta ignored the long-haired adolescent and marched back to their sleeping space. He wanted to see for himself that nothing had been touched, although Raditz had told him so. He leaned down, his face scrunched up in dread, and then sniffed at the lower mattress on the bunk bed that he and Raditz 'shared'. Hn. No one had pissed on their bed or messed with it; his scent was still strong. Good. Next, he checked his dresser drawer. Everything was still where he had left it, folded neatly. Even better.

Next, he lifted the top mattress from its springs and peered underneath. No one dared to sleep on it because it was  _his_ , and it was also where he kept his secreted trinkets - trophies collected over the years that both Nappa and Raditz pretended not to know about. For the last few months, Vegeta had been considering paring down his collection, because it was a leftover habit from when he was a young kit. He did not want anyone thinking he was a baby.  _Heu_ , he would almost be considered an adult among his people … if they had still existed. Perhaps it was time for him to rid himself of any tendrils linking to his younger years.

The collection was a 'babyish habit' until Vegeta noticed that all of his hard won and carefully kept things were gone. In fact, they were the  _only_ things that had gone missing during the inspection.

Vegeta's breath hitched in his throat. He placed the mattress back, waited a few seconds and then checked again, in case they had just been moved about during the inspection...or magically decided to reappear. No such luck. He made a strangled noise, then bit into his lip. Someone was fucking with him! And that someone was going to get their head bashed in. How dare they touch his personal, private  _things_  with their grubby hands? He rushed out of the sleeping nook with his tail frizzed and lashing a wide path. Vegeta practically vibrated with pure outrage, and stomped up to Raditz with his fists in tight balls.

"Raditz! You liar! I thought you said they didn't  _take_ anything!" His obsidian eyes bored into the older youth.

"Something's gone? Are you sure? What can't you find?" Raditz wore an innocent look of confusion.

"My … um … personal things!" A slight tinge colored Vegeta's cheeks. He felt embarrassed. Then, he just felt violated. "Some fucknut TOUCHED MY THINGS! I thought you said you were watching the entire time! Did you have your head up your ass?"

"Your things?" Raditz put one hand to the back of his neck, glanced at the ceiling and thought while Vegeta bristled. "Ohhhhh. Do you mean your stash under the top mattress? Yeah, about that... Y'see, I was cleaning up the mess around here before the inspection and I decided to toss out the junk just laying around."

"You  _what_?! You don't have the right!" Vegeta's face had gone completely crimson.

Before either Nappa or Raditz could react, Vegeta flew threw the air straight at Raditz and smashed into the older boy's abdomen. The air whooshed out of Raditz' lungs; he was knocked off his feet and collided with the couch, which tipped over. Raditz landed on his back with Vegeta on top, eyes burning and hands curled into fists. He got in a few brutal hits that shattered Raditz' nose and bloodied his face before the other teen had time enough to raise his arms in defense.

"Woah, woah!" Nappa moved in fast for such a bulky man. He wrapped his arms around Vegeta's waist and scooped the prince up and off his feet from behind so that he could not beat Raditz into a pulp. "That's enough, Vegeta! After last night, ya had this comin'. Now stand down!"

"Let me go, you big buffoon!" Vegeta squalled. He kicked and struggled like an angry beast, arms and legs flailing, and it took all of Nappa's formidable strength to keep the prince from breaking free.

"Not until you calm the fuck down,  _ve'ho_!"

Raditz rolled to one side, his hands clamped over his nose. Crimson streams ran from between his fingers and down his chin. "Gah… Vegeta, it was just a prank! Nothing's gone, it's all in my drawer. Swear on my tail!" He gagged and spat out clots of blood. "Hah…it was worth it, though. I owed you for the peppers."

Vegeta tried to take another swing but Nappa just held onto him tighter. Usually when Saiyans had a problem with each other, they would get into a good old row, kick the shit out of each other, and blow off steam. There was nothing like a good fight to sort things out… but this wasn't one of those times. No, if left to his own devices now, Vegeta would likely kill Raditz. The blank look on the prince's face worried the Commander more than he'd like to admit.

"Enough!" Nappa roared. "I thought I told you two ta knock this shit off! Don't make me crack yer damn skulls!" The veins on his neck stood out, and he pushed his Ki out in a quick pulse like a slap to the face. It was enough to get Vegeta's attention for a second and snap him out of the bloodlust.

For a few anxious seconds, no one spoke. Then Vegeta released the air from his lungs in one big puff and relaxed in Nappa's arms.

"You can let me go now, Nappa." Vegeta spoke in a quiet tone. "That's an order."

"Heh." That little shit, pulling rank... " Can I trust ya enough to let ya go,  _ve'ho_?"

"Yes," Vegeta snapped, his anger mostly vented - on Raditz.

"I'm trustin' you. Don't make me regret it." The massive Commander released his charge, and the prince yanked his arm away from Nappa in a last act of pique.

While Nappa struggled with the prince, Raditz pulled himself into a sitting position and applied pressure to his broken nose. "I'm fine,  _ge'tau_ ," he muttered from between his bloodied hands. "Thanks for asking."

The air was still heavy with the scent of hostility and blood, and Nappa finally reached the end of his patience. Rising to his full height, he loomed over the boys, jabbed one gnarled finger in their direction and took a deep breath.

_Heu m'yo,_  Vegeta thought _, here comes the lecture. Now he's gonna bore us to death as punishment._

"You two are  _ji'tach_. We're the last three Saiyans left, and we hafta stick together. Ya shouldn't be trying to kill each other, yer supposed ta be a team! There's enough  _ji'khiu_  out there tryin' to end us, we don't need to make it easier for 'em!"

Good old predictable Nappa. Vegeta could pretty much quote the lecture word for word, he had heard it that many times. They  _both_  had heard the 'we're family' speech too many times.

It was Nappa's go-to speech when either he or Raditz had acted up. He huffed and side-eyed Raditz, then both rolled their eyes in unison - united by annoyance, their fight forgotten.

"I get it, Nappa, you can stop lecturing us."

"Do you, Vegeta? You two boys are yer own worst enemies. Now, the pranks stop  _here._  Right now. Get it?" When neither youth replied, the commander cupped one ear and leaned towards them. "Well? I'm not just talkin' to hear my voice."

In unison, Vegeta and Raditz groaned in protest. "Yes, sir…"

"Good. Why don't you two do something that  _doesn't_ involve trying to kill each other?"

"Yes, Nappa. We promise." Vegeta held up one hand as if taking an oath. Although .. he was not ready to give up the game yet. Perhaps he would just have to become more sneaky, or more subtle. One thing was for sure, Nappa was not going to ruin his fun...

"Okay, good. Raditz, go sit at the table and let me take a look at ya," Nappa ordered. He had lost count of the number of broken bones he had reset for the boys over the years.

Raditz hissed in pain while Nappa examined his wounds with an experienced eye. As expected, Raditz' nose had been broken but luckily had not been shattered.. Both his eyes had blackened, the inside of his mouth was a bloody mess, and dark bruises were already raising up. Saiyans were used to such routine injuries, it was part of their daily lives. Nappa quickly reset the bone and taped the bridge without further comment on the cause. While the Commander played nurse, Vegeta wandered away and dug through the drawers until he found his items. He collected them into his arms with a furtive glance at the two older Saiyans, then drew closed the privacy curtain so that he could hide them again.

For a moment, he stared at odd assortment of items in his hands: small bones and coins, pieces of old tech from various purges, small idols from dead worlds, and his most precious keepsake: a silver ornamental chain that Father had given to him… before Frieza took him away. Vegeta ran one thumb over the links of the necklace, and felt the smooth metal like he had done so many times before. They were the only tokens left of his childhood, something that could be used against him as Raditz had just demonstrated. He should just get rid of them; at least he could collect better trophies. Right?

Vegeta held out one hand, filled with his past, over the waste bin.  _If anyone else besides Raditz finds these things, you'll be a laughingstock. Just do it. Just open your fingers and throw them in there. Don't be a pussy._

But he could not seem to let go. "I'm such a fool," he sighed, then placed his past carefully into the drawer.

 


End file.
